If you go to church, work at a christian school and only have christian friends, how would you ever be able to understand the world?

Awesome Saturday Night

So, it's 7.09pm
Both Amelia and Tristan are in bed.
I am actually wide awake and I'm really bored.

How does this happen?

Trisomy 13

Aside from getting a new Prime Minister, it has been a pretty sad couple of days.

My very good friend who is pregnant had her 12 week ultrasound yesterday and they found that her baby has severe deformities; it looks like it could be a disease called Trisomy 13, which means there are 13 chromosomes and a lot of difficulties with their health. My friend’s baby is alive, but there are some real issues. The chances of this baby surviving are very slim, they mostly don’t make it to birth and if born will struggle to live until their first birthday.

My friend text messaged me at 10am and couldn’t actually ring until 2pm because of all the tears. She was offered a termination, but she does not want to do that. There are all sorts of reasons, but who cares and that was her decision. She says she loves this baby already.

I really feel for her, I had an abortion many years ago when I was young and very silly and didn’t really think about it. I never told anybody either, which sort of makes it feel less real also. Now that I have my gorgeous baby I don’t think I could ever do it again, even if it meant having to care for a very sick bubby. It’s funny how priorities change and things you think about change as you get older.

It’s really weird this trisomy 13 thing, because a friend from mother’s group has a friend who also at her 12 week ultrasound found that her baby had the same thing. Her baby went to sleep yesterday, she also has one other child and had made a decision that she would wait and see what happens to the baby. Is it good or bad that it died?

My mum said she would pray that this happens to my friend’s baby too. I wondered what I should pray for. And basically I thought I would pray that whatever happens my friend is supported through it all because this baby must be pretty tough to still be alive with all its little problems. I’m just sending out vibes to the universe to be whatever my friend needs me to be.

Sunday mornings......

Working on a Sunday, what could be worse?
Oh the 21 year old Personal Trainer overdosing on amphetamines and GBH. That'll do it.

I did come up with a tasteless joke....

I asked the doctor looking after her if I need to see her and he said no (she has lots of supports and blah blah blah). Anyway He was surprised that she needed to take the drugs given she works in the fitness industry and I said "how else are you going to stay really skinny?" ZING

Thursday was truely awful.
I am trying to sort out working and day care for my daughter, we have a place in \family Day Care, which is totally awesome. AND the good news was I spoke to a lady who uses the same carer at family day care and she's been really happy with her. Her daughter loves her, blah blah blah. SowWe're going to give it a trial and if it all goes to hell I will stop work...

However, my Mum has not been very supportive, but I felt like she was starting to understand why we didn't have any other option, until Thursday.
She calls saying 'oh did you know that you can extend your maternity leave for another 12 months".
I'm like, I know, but we need the money etc, and she was saying 'oh but if you waited another 12 months your kid will be able to talk and tell you if she doesn't like the carer'.
I was so pissed off with her. she said 'couldn't you just cope with the money you're getting now?' I said no if interest rates keep going up there is now way.
(ps Tristan and I have talked about this (surprisingly enough!) and we could get by, but if an emergency happened we'd be screwed).
Anyway I was so angry with her, she's obviously been so privileged with the money my dad earned that she doesn't get what it's like to have to pay off a house and pay bills like real people.
I think she thinks I really want to send my kid to someone else to care for her, like I'm not totally sad and going to miss her. Fucking douche is all I can say....

So this phone call happened as I was getting in the car to go to 'Tiny Tots Storytime' the library and as I was pulling out of the driveway I was a bit distracted and blinded by the sun and didn't see this couple walking across the footpath. I wasn't sticking out too far, but obviously they had to stop in a hurry.
I said I was sorry and the dude came up to my window and said "you know it's illegal not to stop". And I said again I'm really sorry I didn't see you with the sun in my eyes.
He just kept crapping on and in my head I was getting so angry, I was actually sorry at first but then I got all defensive. 'you don't know me', 'I'm a really nice person', 'fuck you I didn't actually hit you'. Grr, so I drove off really mad and sad and felt like crap all day thinking something else really bad was going to happen to me that day.

Sleepless

I'm worried about going back to my normal job.
I want to go back two days a week, but I don't know how that will work or whether I will be able to stay with the brain injured dudes. If I can't, then I don't think I want to go back.
I also kinda don't want to put Amelia into child care. I'll miss her too much, plus the ones I've seen makes it look like prison, with all the cots in one corner.
I don't know what to do, it's making my brain fuzzy.

Pornography

I just had afternoon tea with my mother and Amelia.
We were talking about all the things I've had to move since Amelia has started to crawl and get into all sorts of busy work.
I said that the game controls (i.e. for PlayStation/X-box) couldn't be broken, it's just that we don't want her playing with them. Them my mother said, ' Yes, you don't want her turning on some pornography at her young age'.
WHAT?!
I said, what do you mean? and she said that Amelia could turn on the TV and it there would be pornography.
I said something along the lines of, oh the game controllers don't turn the TV on. Then later thought about it. What kind of house does she think I'm running? Do I just have porn on the TV 24/7, that little eyes can accidentally turn on and watch?
Man I wish I had the balls to tell her off.

Myki?

I just left Amelia sitting up in her cot, holding dolly and crying her eyes out.
It sounds like I'm really mean, but she was rubbing her eyes which means "I'm tired, please let me sleep".

Now I'm trying to put money on my myki, but I can't seem to work it. Grrr

Pizza, babies and bongo drums

I went out last night, up to Belgrave to see my flaky friend and, as predicted, I spent hours and hours with her. I was out so late that I got into trouble from Tristan because I came home after 12 on 'a school night'!

Amelia and I went to Anna's house where, first of all I asked whether her neighbour had given birth yet and what flavour was the child, we tried to visit her. This is very difficult because although the houses are very close, in order to get there you have to go down one really steep driveway and then up another one (only to find that the person in question is out ARGH!).

Then we decided to order pizza, while we waited for pizza we entertained Amelia with bongo drums, this was really fun and Amelia joined in patting away at the drums, she even got some good sounds out. There was also some sort of Japanese instrument that she was enthralled by, but wasn't allowed to touch.

Hmmm, what else, oh we had some lovely organic red wine, then the pizza came. We ate, then spent some time on the veranda watching all the birds fly around looking for trees to sit in for the evening. While this was happening her neighbour returned home and brought her baby over....Patrick. SO small and light, also his cry was really soft compared to Amelia's now. I had a cuddle.

Then Richard, Anna's partner came home and he expertly showed Amelia how the bongo's are to be played, she also enjoyed the timber of his voice, alway turning when he spoke. Then she got a bit grizzly, but eventually fell asleep and the adults had some jasmine tea.

After a while I decided I should go home.

It was the best night I've had in a while. So relaxing. If only I could see her more often.

I have a couple of friends who are total FLAKES. I am forever making plans with them, then on the day they will call or text to say that they can't do it.
Their excuses are usually fairly lame, things like; I forgot I had other plans, I have a headache, or like last night, I've got an unexpected job interview after work!

I wonder if it's me. Is it so annoying to catch up with me that you have to make lame-ass excuses?
Or I just choose friends who are too hippyish to be able to organise their lives. This seems to be true of the friend I was meeting up with last night. She has no idea how the world works, yet she is the MOST generous person I have ever met. If I actually meet up with her, I know that I'll be with her for hours doing awesome things like sitting around eating and drinking on the veranda of her house which looks over to awesome bushland. It's so relaxing.

So hopefully tonight I will see her and have some relaxing times, but I won't hold my breath.

P.S. The dog looks great, the child didn't notice the difference.

Today

Today Josh the dog will get a haircut. He will go from The Neverending Story type dog to ugly rat looking dog.
Yet his eyes will be seen again, they are lovely, however you can't stare into them too long because I think you can catch vagueness.
Some dogs look like they think very deeply. Not Josh he looks like he doesn't think, he just stares.

I wonder what my bubba will think of him, she thinks he's pretty funny now. She might think he's boring after a haircut.

Holes

Yesterday at work a six year old came in having 'inserted a marble into her vagina'. Classic.

Tristan said there should be a plug to fit all the holes on kids that they can put things in.

When I was small I put a marble up my nose and I seriously don't remember it ever coming out. I didn't tell my parents, so it never got extracted by a doctor. I thought maybe one day I would have a scan and it would be in my brain somewhere.
But alas I've had a couple of cat scans and they only found brain.

Crazy kids

I was at mother's group, about 10 minutes ago.
All was going well, my bubba had not cried or been annoying for over two hours (this is like some kind of minor miracle). Then she started to do some weird humping on the floor. So strange I had never seen her so this before.
I ignored it because she was happy, then as we were leaving she started to lift her bottom off the floor and move her legs in.
Ah excuse me child you are only 6 months old PLEASE STOP BEING SO CLEVER.
Thank you.

It's hot

It's been mega hot.
I'm not very good in the heat, but I am way worse with an extra sweaty child needing cuddles.
Usually in the real world I go to an air conditioned work place and don't notice the heat until I get home, then chuck the noisy air con on at home until the cool change hits.
This time I'm stuck at home, not wanting to blow the fuse in the air con.

So I go to my in-laws house and hang out feeling uncomfortable and bored. But staying very very cool in their lovely house.