If only to procrastinate from writing my November Novel.
I'm not stuck, just a bit bored with myself and my writing.
Unfortunately I have written the story about a girl who is basically me. So bored with having to think about what I might think about.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Awesome Saturday Night
So, it's 7.09pm
Both Amelia and Tristan are in bed.
I am actually wide awake and I'm really bored.
How does this happen?
Both Amelia and Tristan are in bed.
I am actually wide awake and I'm really bored.
How does this happen?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Trisomy 13
Aside from getting a new Prime Minister, it has been a pretty sad couple of days.
My very good friend who is pregnant had her 12 week ultrasound yesterday and they found that her baby has severe deformities; it looks like it could be a disease called Trisomy 13, which means there are 13 chromosomes and a lot of difficulties with their health. My friend’s baby is alive, but there are some real issues. The chances of this baby surviving are very slim, they mostly don’t make it to birth and if born will struggle to live until their first birthday.
My friend text messaged me at 10am and couldn’t actually ring until 2pm because of all the tears. She was offered a termination, but she does not want to do that. There are all sorts of reasons, but who cares and that was her decision. She says she loves this baby already.
I really feel for her, I had an abortion many years ago when I was young and very silly and didn’t really think about it. I never told anybody either, which sort of makes it feel less real also. Now that I have my gorgeous baby I don’t think I could ever do it again, even if it meant having to care for a very sick bubby. It’s funny how priorities change and things you think about change as you get older.
It’s really weird this trisomy 13 thing, because a friend from mother’s group has a friend who also at her 12 week ultrasound found that her baby had the same thing. Her baby went to sleep yesterday, she also has one other child and had made a decision that she would wait and see what happens to the baby. Is it good or bad that it died?
My mum said she would pray that this happens to my friend’s baby too. I wondered what I should pray for. And basically I thought I would pray that whatever happens my friend is supported through it all because this baby must be pretty tough to still be alive with all its little problems. I’m just sending out vibes to the universe to be whatever my friend needs me to be.
My very good friend who is pregnant had her 12 week ultrasound yesterday and they found that her baby has severe deformities; it looks like it could be a disease called Trisomy 13, which means there are 13 chromosomes and a lot of difficulties with their health. My friend’s baby is alive, but there are some real issues. The chances of this baby surviving are very slim, they mostly don’t make it to birth and if born will struggle to live until their first birthday.
My friend text messaged me at 10am and couldn’t actually ring until 2pm because of all the tears. She was offered a termination, but she does not want to do that. There are all sorts of reasons, but who cares and that was her decision. She says she loves this baby already.
I really feel for her, I had an abortion many years ago when I was young and very silly and didn’t really think about it. I never told anybody either, which sort of makes it feel less real also. Now that I have my gorgeous baby I don’t think I could ever do it again, even if it meant having to care for a very sick bubby. It’s funny how priorities change and things you think about change as you get older.
It’s really weird this trisomy 13 thing, because a friend from mother’s group has a friend who also at her 12 week ultrasound found that her baby had the same thing. Her baby went to sleep yesterday, she also has one other child and had made a decision that she would wait and see what happens to the baby. Is it good or bad that it died?
My mum said she would pray that this happens to my friend’s baby too. I wondered what I should pray for. And basically I thought I would pray that whatever happens my friend is supported through it all because this baby must be pretty tough to still be alive with all its little problems. I’m just sending out vibes to the universe to be whatever my friend needs me to be.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday mornings......
Working on a Sunday, what could be worse?
Oh the 21 year old Personal Trainer overdosing on amphetamines and GBH. That'll do it.
I did come up with a tasteless joke....
I asked the doctor looking after her if I need to see her and he said no (she has lots of supports and blah blah blah). Anyway He was surprised that she needed to take the drugs given she works in the fitness industry and I said "how else are you going to stay really skinny?" ZING
Oh the 21 year old Personal Trainer overdosing on amphetamines and GBH. That'll do it.
I did come up with a tasteless joke....
I asked the doctor looking after her if I need to see her and he said no (she has lots of supports and blah blah blah). Anyway He was surprised that she needed to take the drugs given she works in the fitness industry and I said "how else are you going to stay really skinny?" ZING
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday was truely awful.
I am trying to sort out working and day care for my daughter, we have a place in \family Day Care, which is totally awesome. AND the good news was I spoke to a lady who uses the same carer at family day care and she's been really happy with her. Her daughter loves her, blah blah blah. SowWe're going to give it a trial and if it all goes to hell I will stop work...
However, my Mum has not been very supportive, but I felt like she was starting to understand why we didn't have any other option, until Thursday.
She calls saying 'oh did you know that you can extend your maternity leave for another 12 months".
I'm like, I know, but we need the money etc, and she was saying 'oh but if you waited another 12 months your kid will be able to talk and tell you if she doesn't like the carer'.
I was so pissed off with her. she said 'couldn't you just cope with the money you're getting now?' I said no if interest rates keep going up there is now way.
(ps Tristan and I have talked about this (surprisingly enough!) and we could get by, but if an emergency happened we'd be screwed).
Anyway I was so angry with her, she's obviously been so privileged with the money my dad earned that she doesn't get what it's like to have to pay off a house and pay bills like real people.
I think she thinks I really want to send my kid to someone else to care for her, like I'm not totally sad and going to miss her. Fucking douche is all I can say....
So this phone call happened as I was getting in the car to go to 'Tiny Tots Storytime' the library and as I was pulling out of the driveway I was a bit distracted and blinded by the sun and didn't see this couple walking across the footpath. I wasn't sticking out too far, but obviously they had to stop in a hurry.
I said I was sorry and the dude came up to my window and said "you know it's illegal not to stop". And I said again I'm really sorry I didn't see you with the sun in my eyes.
He just kept crapping on and in my head I was getting so angry, I was actually sorry at first but then I got all defensive. 'you don't know me', 'I'm a really nice person', 'fuck you I didn't actually hit you'. Grr, so I drove off really mad and sad and felt like crap all day thinking something else really bad was going to happen to me that day.
I am trying to sort out working and day care for my daughter, we have a place in \family Day Care, which is totally awesome. AND the good news was I spoke to a lady who uses the same carer at family day care and she's been really happy with her. Her daughter loves her, blah blah blah. SowWe're going to give it a trial and if it all goes to hell I will stop work...
However, my Mum has not been very supportive, but I felt like she was starting to understand why we didn't have any other option, until Thursday.
She calls saying 'oh did you know that you can extend your maternity leave for another 12 months".
I'm like, I know, but we need the money etc, and she was saying 'oh but if you waited another 12 months your kid will be able to talk and tell you if she doesn't like the carer'.
I was so pissed off with her. she said 'couldn't you just cope with the money you're getting now?' I said no if interest rates keep going up there is now way.
(ps Tristan and I have talked about this (surprisingly enough!) and we could get by, but if an emergency happened we'd be screwed).
Anyway I was so angry with her, she's obviously been so privileged with the money my dad earned that she doesn't get what it's like to have to pay off a house and pay bills like real people.
I think she thinks I really want to send my kid to someone else to care for her, like I'm not totally sad and going to miss her. Fucking douche is all I can say....
So this phone call happened as I was getting in the car to go to 'Tiny Tots Storytime' the library and as I was pulling out of the driveway I was a bit distracted and blinded by the sun and didn't see this couple walking across the footpath. I wasn't sticking out too far, but obviously they had to stop in a hurry.
I said I was sorry and the dude came up to my window and said "you know it's illegal not to stop". And I said again I'm really sorry I didn't see you with the sun in my eyes.
He just kept crapping on and in my head I was getting so angry, I was actually sorry at first but then I got all defensive. 'you don't know me', 'I'm a really nice person', 'fuck you I didn't actually hit you'. Grr, so I drove off really mad and sad and felt like crap all day thinking something else really bad was going to happen to me that day.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sleepless
I'm worried about going back to my normal job.
I want to go back two days a week, but I don't know how that will work or whether I will be able to stay with the brain injured dudes. If I can't, then I don't think I want to go back.
I also kinda don't want to put Amelia into child care. I'll miss her too much, plus the ones I've seen makes it look like prison, with all the cots in one corner.
I don't know what to do, it's making my brain fuzzy.
I want to go back two days a week, but I don't know how that will work or whether I will be able to stay with the brain injured dudes. If I can't, then I don't think I want to go back.
I also kinda don't want to put Amelia into child care. I'll miss her too much, plus the ones I've seen makes it look like prison, with all the cots in one corner.
I don't know what to do, it's making my brain fuzzy.
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